I am so excited!!! I got not 1, not 2, but 3 letters yesterday in the mail. Each one sweeter than the last. I miss him so much and I know he misses me just as much. I honestly can't believe his graduation is coming up so soon. It has been so hard without him and being able to just be with him again will be amazing. For his graduation, me, his mom, dad, and younger brother are going to the actual ceremony, but his step mom and middle brother are coming to spend the day with him. I know everyone is super excited and ready to see him. But I am also nervous. I'm nervous he wont be the same. I mean, I know he was bound to change after going through basic training, but I guess I just hope he'll be the same guy I fell in love with 3 1/2 years ago.
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I GOT A PHONE CALL TODAY!!! Okay, I haven't gotten a phone call from him since the Monday before Christmas. Literally, I was going stir crazy. I was trying not to panic and create this whole irrational and ridiculous situation for why he hadn't called me (I do that sometimes) and then just like that, he calls me. So, I was eating lunch with my family and my sister grabs my phone and shows me I have two missed calls from a IL number and I freak out. I yell at her, I snap at my mom for asking me why I had it on vibrate, I call it back like 10x KNOWING that there is no way he will answer it, and finally, I just break down. Now, I didn't start crying, but BOY did I want to. I kept praying he'll call back. 20 minutes later, I'm still beating myself up and there it goes, he calls back. They first thing I say on the phone is I AM SOOOOO SORRY. You would think that he would be like "Oh, it's fine" but he didn't. He was actually mad. He told me, in a very irritated voice, YOU NEED TO KEEP YOUR PHONE ON YOU. After I apologized again, he was just like, I don't want this conversation to be a fight, so we dropped it. We talked about how he was doing, how excited he was he got through HELL WEEK, he told me about being chosen to be guidon so we can see him during graduation, and just a lot of different things. The saddest part of the conversation was that he told me it was his last phone call until the "I'm a Sailor" phone call the day before graduation. But all and all, I am happy with our phone call and even more happy that in less than two week, I will be seeing my baby for the first time since beginning week of December.
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In one of Michael's letters, he told me about this Facebook group that was for loved ones who's SR was graduating the same day as Michael. I decided to join it and now I'm addicted. Seriously. They stories, questions, concerns, and just anything really. It's an entire group of people who know exactly how you feel, are probably feeling the same way, and want to be there for you. This woman posted something about not being sure about taking her baby to graduation because of how cold it is going to be and honestly, like 15 different people, including myself, commented on it giving advice, support, and just being nice and helpful about it. One woman offered to babysit during the actual ceremony part of it so the baby wouldn't have to go out in the cold so early in the morning. I mean, this group is incredible. This whole time while Michael was gone, I felt so alone. My parents, my sister, no one could help me shake it. They just didn't understand. These women (and men) do. It's been really amazing and I just wished I found it sooner. It makes me feel close to him because I'm communicating with people who's loved ones are with him. It's strange, I know, but it's comforting. Well, that's what's happened these past days. Thanks for reading, PEACE.
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